Ditzy Delilah

Delilah is usually described as a “funny one”. She’s always trying to make others laugh or crack a joke – even if it’s at her own expense. 

She just doesn’t take herself seriously, and she’s kind of a klutz. Fumbling and bumbling about all day. It’s like her arms and legs have minds of their own, always waving sporadically like unsupervised children. 

Whenever she drops something by accident (which is often), she’ll burst into erratic laughter and hold her hands up in exaggerated shock. This kind of behaviour has led some people to label Delilah as flamboyant. 

You’d be forgiven for thinking Delilah doesn’t own a mirror either. The amount of makeup she gets in the wrong places is astonishing. She always has way too much foundation on. It’s as thick as paint and completely washes her out. 

She frequently uses bright blue eyeshadow too, and somehow manages to get it both above and under her eyes. She’s also quite partial to a bit of lippy. Ruby red is her favourite and she applies it liberally, smearing it over her mouth in garish amounts. 

You might even think that Delilah gets dressed in the dark most days. She’s known for wearing bold patterns and bright colours. This would be fine if she didn’t wear all the patterns all the time. It’s like she just doesn’t understand that red stripes and green polka dots should lead separate lives. She also needs to visit a tailor; her clothes are three sizes too big! 

It’s guaranteed you’ll be able to spot Delilah in a crowd. It’s her hair that gives her away. She’s taken to dying it all sorts of wacky colours and pins it up on her head like a balloon. I’d be switching salons if I were her. 

Sometimes it seems like Delilah hasn’t quite grown up yet. While other people her age have started playing more serious games, like poker, she’s more interested in card tricks and making things disappear. 

She doesn’t even have a reliable mode of transport. Last week, I saw her trying to get around on a bicycle with only one working wheel!

It’s actually gotten to the point where Delilah is becoming a laughing stock. There are times now where both children and adults point and laugh at her. They’ve even started chanting “Dit-zy De-li-lah! Dit-zy De-li-LAH!” whenever she’s around.

Delilah doesn’t seem to mind though. She appears to enjoy people gawking and giggling at her clumsy ways, weird clothes and cringey magic tricks. She welcomes the name calling and sometimes even invites people to take part in her gimmicks.

I guess that’s what you’d come to expect though, when you’re a clown for hire. 

---

Enjoyed this story?

Subscribe to get stories straight into your inbox or donate to show your support!